I reported yesterday that I had muffed my online grocery order. I got up early and went to HyVee during the hours set aside for the elderly and high risk. Well, if that isn't enough of a deterrent.
I got out of the car with a mask and gloves. They had sanitizing supplies inside the store to wipe down the cart handles and there were employees everywhere wiping down baskets, door handles, and checkout stations. There were arrows on the floor marking each aisle as one way and I will say that most people observed those boundaries. Then were a few assholes. I got through it in one piece but I will say it was a most surreal experience that I don't want to repeat.
I feel better today than I did yesterday when I was wallowing in despair. I miss my friends and my work at the Arts Center but I felt I was turning inward...a dark vortex. I offered my dollhouse to my grand-daughter, not knowing when she will be able to come here to play again. I'm going to have mini egg hunts for each family, in shifts, on Saturday. Just along the sidewalk so there is no contact. I'd like to do some decorating on the sidewalks with chalk but I think it's going to be raining so there is that. Wind, rain, and cold. Look for another one of those desperation posts.
Wow. Up and down. In one paragraph.
I talked to my boss at the Arts Center today which seems like an odd thing to call her because she is so...I don't know...real, authentic, human. I have paid time off. At my little bitty very part-time job. It's not the money as much as it feels like a very human offer of dignity. I matter and the job I do matters. It was one of my only human contacts in days.
I was outside a lot today in the beautiful sunshine. I potted a couple house plants which I haven't had for years. It felt good to handle dirt and living things. Maybe to nurture something.
I wonder if some of my distancing, holding things (people) at bay is a protective act. If I don't think about it too much, I don't have to feel the pain. Sigh.
We had such good news about my mom. She met with the medical oncologist today and we were prepared for a recommendation for radiation. She had many questions, the main one being how would that increase her life expectancy or her quality of life. Mom was pleasantly surprised to hear that he didn't recommend any further treatment. She could do a hormone treatment, but even that was optional and not urgent. Such a relief for everyone. I talked to Mom tonight and she was so happy that now she can forget about it and just enjoy each day.
Regis and I got in the car about 8 o'clock to go up on the hill to see the full moon. It was stunning, of course. Now, I'm home watching news, eating cookies, and sitting in this chair that must have memory foam because my butt remembers. Haha.