Monday, April 06, 2020


I haven't written for a while. Here are my thoughts in the midst of a pandemic.

1. I have trouble remembering what day/date it is. I have to check the Weather Channel app to validate. It adds to the lost feeling.

2. Mom is doing well. I came home a week ago and she was doing quite well then. My cousin and her husband spent a week with her and frankly, they were probably more useful than I was because they cook and clean and organize. None of that is in my wheelhouse. She meets with the medical oncologist tomorrow and she has a list of questions. I'm proud of her for taking charge of her treatment plan.

3. I look at my calendar most days but there isn't much there. I cross out the Arts Center hours and the coffee dates and the babysitting dates. I can't think about that too much. Tiffany came by today to pick up a couple of old games like Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. It was good to visit from a distance and wave to Easton and Elliot. I can't think about that much either. I have a huge reservoir of grief.

4. I tried to do an online order for groceries but apparently I forgot the last step so today I discovered it was not active and there are no dates/times available for now. I tried a hundred ways to transfer it to my shopping list with no luck. I finally just did it the old-fashioned way and wrote it by hand on a piece of paper. Now, I have to go to the actual store in the morning at 7am, garbed in mask and gloves.

5. I am not doing the things I see some people doing. I am not organizing. I am not sorting and donating. I am not cleaning...deep or otherwise. I read. I sleep.

6. I have a lot of anger. At the president who I thought was a major dumb and incompetent asshole even before this and at the goof balls he has surrounded himself with and (this is important) at the people who continue to support him and think he's doing a good job. I won't name them. You know who they are. Mother fuckers.

7. I like to sleep and drink wine. I'm sorry if that goes against your notion of what a mentally healthy person should be doing. On sunny days, I go outside and talk to anyone who walks past my house.

8. I love Governor Walz and Governor Cuomo. And Anthony Fauci.

9. I'm tired of cooking. Tonight, I think I made French toast with a loaf of garlic bread. Regis didn't notice and I couldn't smell or taste it so I guess it proves we're feral and WTF.

10. I have had some thoughts about the gene pool. I'm not going to say anymore about that.

11. We have tried to patronize the local restaurants. We ordered from Patrick's the other night and Regis's grilled burrito came with a roll of toilet paper.

12. I don't have the mental capacity to get photos with these thoughts.

The end.

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