Wednesday, November 02, 2016

chaos and magic

I have left my cranky pants behind for today! I chucked them into the laundry basket and for today's fashion statement, I have gone with the shiny purple tuxedo trousers with rhinestones on the seams. So much better for dancing in the kitchen.

I went to yoga in the morning, then for coffee. It is a spiritual experience and I am sorry that it's only twice a week. I have yoga dvds and all the equipment so there is no reason that I can't start my own daily practice at home. Plan to start today.

I am also set up to start a daily meditation course online. Is that too much?

I went to aftercare group last night and the counselor asked how I felt about "coining out" next week. You don't officially graduate from this group as that would signify an ending. When a person coins out, a medal goes around the group, everyone says something nice about you and wishes you well. I'm ready for that and all that it entails.

I spent some time this morning writing a thank you letter to the staff at my inpatient program. I know the stats for treatment look pretty dismal sometimes and I want them to know that I am doing my best to survive and thrive. And that I am grateful for everything every single one of them did.

It's been a longish road to four months of sobriety. I started with SMART in 2014 and struggled a lot but learned a lot, too. I did a lot of sobriety-related stuff along the way and I won't say that all of those things didn't work...I think they were stepping stones. They all have my gratitude.

I don't say I am an alcoholic anymore in group. I understand that there are people who do (or addict) for their own very good reasons. I say I am proud to be in recovery and for me that means I have not used alcohol for 117 days.

Vigilant but not afraid.

This will probably be my last recovery related post. I've done enough soul bearing and breast beating. My two lives have merged enough.

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