Sunday, March 13, 2016

family

My sweet seven year old grandson, Elliot, who has been living with us since January 1st, has been asking a lot of questions lately about family relationships. Who is my (Estle) dad? Is he still alive? Who is my dad's (Eric's) dad? How do I know that? Then he asks about his mom. And his mom's mom. I have to tell him we don't know. I have to tell him about the pain of adoption and loss of family and how we all love each other anyway. He cries and I cry. His sweet face worrying over these relationships is heartbreaking. I wish I had an easy answer. I wish it didn't involve human heartache and sadness and a lifetime of loss and anguish. I wish I had a better answer.

Update
My friend, Joanne, wrote this comment. It's easy, in the night when I am tired and the gray-faced men march around the bed to feel sad and overwhelmed. This is a good reminder.
Along with those stories are the tales of great joy, love, acceptance, and triumph over hardship. Altogether, all of these stories make up your family quilt, and the good far outweighs the bad. Elliot is surrounded by love. He will come through this, and so will you.
Elliot's questions and emotions have brought some good conversations with his mom about the importance of family, no matter how you come into one.

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