Tuesday, January 07, 2014


My sleepless nights. They come along from time to time and while they don't unnerve me like they did when I was working (more), I still don't like them. I was awake until after midnight, then awake at 3 a.m. Now, I am tired and it's 5. I might be able to squeeze in some sleep before my ten o'clock dental appointment. I wonder if they have ever had a patient fall asleep.

I have been awake taking stock. This was my gratitude list for the day:
  1. I am grateful for all the wonderful people I have met in the last year. I just finished a long email to my friend, Karen, in New Jersey. I met her through a BC site and we just clicked. We have never met in person but we talk on the phone, send each other presents, and write long emails in the middle of the night.
  2. I am grateful that I am finally getting my marbles in the right slots. I was changing my blog this morning and profile pics in different places. I am ready to update them all now. I have a combination of pre-cancer (as I have here), during cancer (as I have on Facebook), and post-cancer (as I have on my blog). I am ready to be one person. Does that make sense?
  3. I am grateful for my warm bed. Even though I haven't spent much time there tonight, I know it's waiting with the mattress warmer on, Gus and Woody occupying their spots at the end, and sweet Regis on the other side.
  4. I am grateful for iPad Scrabble. On the easy level, I can beat the CPU consistently which I can't do with a person. I'm not usually competitive, but Scrabble brings it out!
I wrote in my gratitude journal, checked Facebook, scanned the front page of the Trib, drank three cups of coffee, and now I'm ready to go back to bed. One of the small problems with waking in the middle of the night is that it confuses the pets. They think it's time to go outside (Gus) and then they both think it's time to eat. Three in the morning. Really? They both stand dumbly beside their food source, like they can't believe it's morning and they aren't getting their rations. I suppose they don't know about the equinox, daylight savings time, dawn, and clocks. Or insomnia.

Back to bed...

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