Remember how I felt so good and so normal for the last week? Remember the list of things to do that actually got done? Well, that all lasted until Monday when a backache and hip pain going down my legs reminded me of what's gone on the last months. Bang. Enough euphoria...back to earth.
At first I thought I had just overdone it for a few days. Cleaning drawers, after all! But it's persisted and it makes it nearly impossible to sleep, especially on my side.
I did some reading this morning on the Interwebs (dangerous) and it's a common topic on cancer blogs and forums. Shit. Damn. Hell. I was happier when I thought it was from cleaning drawers.
I'm going to ask about it at the cancer center today. One of my major thinking errors was believing that this would all end the day I walked out of there for the last time. Seems the chemo and radiation effects linger for a long time. Sigh.
And, by the way, I won't be walking out of there for the last time for a long time. They will follow me for ten years...maybe fifteen.
If it weren't about the 85th day in a row, the rain and thunder this morning would be pleasant. I did all my planting yesterday so the little begonias and impatiens will be happy to get a real drink. I have been known to buy plants and then let them sit unattended to until they croak from benign neglect. Getting them into the dirt the same day I bought them is some kind of record for me.
We're having some neighbors over tonight. I had thought I would tidy up the house and make it looks like someone else lives here but now that I can hardly bend over, I have to abandon that agenda. I guess they'll just see me as I am. Box of books under the table? Yes, that's where it lives. Laundry basket in the living room? Yes, it can sit there.
I had crossed my fingers that the weather would be pleasant and we could be on the patio and people could go to their own homes to use the bathroom. No such luck.
I have two friends who are coming to help me today and Regis is a big help so all will be fine. Anybody who complains about the ambiance can take their paper plates of potato chips and Saltines and go home.
I think I'll post sticky notes on doors and windows. Don't go in here. Don't look out this window. Don't go in the porch. Enter at your own risk. Haha. That would be funny.