Friday, May 17, 2013

curling up and feeling sad

Cocooning

Cécile Veilhan

Yesterday I had my first follow-up meeting with my research nurse. I've gotten very attached to her. I know I'll see her many times in the future but for some reason this last visit made me sad and took me back to an emotional place I thought I had left long ago.

Even though the weather was beautiful, the crab apple and the redbud are blooming, and even though I had a lovely visit with my cousin the last two days, I felt like shit last night. I felt like I did in January. I was so tired I took several naps and went to bed at 7 o'clock. I felt sad and lonely and discouraged and...flat.

I'm not going to try to analyze this too much. It just is what it is and I know it will pass.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself either. I know everybody has crap to deal with. Every day, people have much worse crap than this to deal with. Something could come along and clothesline a guy at any time. Fact of life. I am not alone in this.

3 comments:

grandma Saum said...

Don't be sad, Teresa. It breaks my heart to hear you say that. You have been such an upper through all of this and soon it will be over. You have been a trouper through all of your treatments. You have so many people who love you and care about you. Not only your family , but people all over the country think you are great. Keep smiling and remember all of us who love you. Mom

Jill said...

Your mom is wonderful at wrapping her arms around you, even at a distance.

Wishing you a better day today.

tccomments2013 said...

oh, honey-girl,

i feel so bad i wasn't here for you just to say i love you and let you know i was listening, and sending powerful vibes to help you get through slugging rats in the gutter. i haven't been keeping up with reading/commenting very well. OMG - ..."could clothesline a guy at any time." TOO funny.

warm hugs,

karen