Sunday, February 10, 2013

in case you've forgotten the value of a good rant

The yellow orb in the sky is called the sun. It's what makes grass grow in summer and ice melt in winter. It helps us know when night is over and day is breaking. It helps us get out of bed in the morning and keeps us from jumping off the Minnesota River bridge during the endless winter.

We haven't seen the sun in quite a while. Last Tuesday, I was making snow angels in the yard and held my position for a while to watch the clouds pass in the blue sky. All of a sudden, it was all gray again. That was the last sighting of the sun.

Every day the damn weather forecasters (also known as agents of the devil) say it will be partly cloudy or partly sunny or 50% chance of partly sunny to partly cloudy. Some bullshit. It's just a tease. Don't fall for it.

In the absence of sun in the winter, I will take a blizzard. A good, old-fashioned three days blizzard where you can't possibly get your car out of the driveway so you trudge to the bar to make sure your friends are all safe.

Now they promise us a blizzard. For the last four days, they have been talking up this big snow event. Winter storm watch, blizzard warning, snowmageddon. More bullshit. Regis went down to gas up the snow blower almost guaranteeing there will be no snow.

I understand that the difference of a degree or two can make the difference between snow, ice, and rain. I also understand that 50% chance of partly this or that is a way to hedge your bets.

So, there's my weather rant.

Regis tells me that people can go on Craig's List and rant about things. Maybe these are people who need a public voice and they should start a blog or start posting profusely on Facebook. Craig's List does not seem like a credible venue for anything.

But I guess if you have a rant in your head, better to let it out. Like cuss words. That stuff gets backed up and it can be bad. Mike thinks it can cause brain tumors so I drop an F bomb from time to time. Just as a precaution, you know.

Calvin knows the value of a good rant.


Jill said...

I did a search for "Mankato rants and raves". Oh my, Regis is right about Craig's List. The first one I read was at least "R" rated. Oops.

Caroline said...

We had a nice two day blizzard and now we have bright sunshine in a blue sky. Weather people are agents of the devil - now they tell us there might be ANOTHER storm here on the weekend.