Tuesday, November 06, 2012

morning...and then afternoon

I was awake from 3 am to 6 am. I slept from 6 am to 8 am. Regis woke me up with the promise of coffee. I'm sitting here staring out the window. Then I slept again from 10-12. I woke up at noon, thinking it must be later than that. I don't believe it's good to sleep in little patches like this.

I talked to Jackie, a friend in Wyoming. She had a double mastectomy 13 years ago and is here to tell the story. I can't talk about it to everyone but I could talk to her.

I knew this would happen because it's my way. I am writing my way through this. Thoughts I cannot articulate in spoken words can be written.

Here's how you know that life goes on....bad shit keeps happening but we continue to celebrate that we are alive and for the most part, happy. This is my journey but other people are traveling their own paths at the same time. My brother Bruce attended the funeral for his little grandbaby, Piper, today. She died of SIDS last week. This is more manageable than that, I know.

In the mail yesterday...a lovely card and letter from one of my oldest friends. So good to read that again this morning. Linda and I made doll houses out of cardboard boxes when we were kids. We walked back and forth to each other's houses through the hedge. Her house fascinated me because it was quiet, unlike mine where four boys lived. I loved playing in her basement..it was like a refuge from the world.

I was doing some reading online about breast cancer but it's too complicated right now. I know so little and the range of possibilities is endless, or so it seems. I'll know a little more after I meet with the surgeon and I will know more after the surgery.

Ah, well. We'll get through it.

I am sorry for causing such a ruckus. I meant to keep this to myself until I had more details but it's just not how I roll.

Thanks to all my friends and family who have responded in my time of need with email, phone calls, comments here, prayers, positive energy, and cuss words. It all helps!

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