Friday, October 05, 2012

ahhhh....what day is it?

I haven't slept well for several days. Tuesday night I was awake by 3am. Wednesday night, I was awake between midnight and 6am when I fell asleep for another hour and missed my workout appointment. Thursday night I fell asleep at 3am and woke up to the alarm at 6am.

The sort of good news is that I had to go in for an endoscopy this morning. It's only what the doc calls surveillance so no need for concern. I've had these before and they make it pretty painless. And so the good news part of this is that the Versed and Fentanyl they gave me were a great gift of relaxation, then sleep.

I can be a bit of a handful as a patient since I had a bad experience with an endoscopy without sedation once. The medical people who recommended that should try it themselves and see how they like it. The next time, memories of that led me to grip the handrails of the gurney on the way to the procedure room and tell everyone in a panicked voice that I am a nervous patient and they shouldn't let me choke. I burst into tears the time after that when told that the doctor I expected to do the procedure had been in surgery all night so there was a substitution. A substitute surgeon. Oh, no.

They must have called him and explained because shortly after, the real doctor showed up looking like he was prepared to deal with a recalcitrant child instead of a 55 year old woman. He was making a pinched face. I told him that the notion of having a garden hose put in my throat by a stranger was distressing. He said they always try to use an endoscope but he was patient and kind and in the end, I was sorry for being such a pain in the ass.

We stopped at Guenther's for a bite of breakfast because I was instantly hungry when I woke up since I hadn't eaten since last night. A nice omelet and toast...comfort food.

I came home, crawled back into my bed and went to sleep for almost two hours. Bliss. I just asked Regis when he thought my marbles would come back and he said two weeks. Ah, no.

The wind has been torturous the past two days. It howled all night giving me dreams of parties gone awry, dust bunny sweeping, and wild fires. I've said before that Regis dreams in detail with plots and names. I dream in amorphous blobs and images.


Elliot went to the park this week with his other grandma and grandpa. It's been a trying fall for him with the changes in daycare. Sweet boy.

I have to go lie down again. Thanks for listening!

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