Tuesday, September 04, 2012

security questions and being in line for the throne

I've been reading lots of historical fiction this summer, mostly about all the different kings named Henry, Edward, or John and wives named Elizabeth or Mary. I think they only had about fifteen names to choose from in those days. It makes it very hard to keep it all straight.

Then there is the practice of people tagging their title onto their name, as in Grand Lord Duke Richard Waddlington of Buckingham. So, sometimes he is called the Duck of Buckingham, sometimes Richard, and sometimes another combination of any of his names. It's very confusing.

They are all related, as well, which leads you to believe if someone did a family tree for the whole country they would go back to the same fifteen people of paragraph one. I think it's what leads to the bad teeth and weird hair.

The monarchy has their own official website which is quite a hoot to peruse. There are official rules for this and that, and of course, official photographs, among which I did not find the nude billiard photos of Prince Harry. Pity.

So, the point of this is that Regis was sitting in his chair last night reviewing his family tree on ancestry.com because it was free this weekend. I pointed out that he has a lot of Marys, Howards, and Harrys in his lineage, which according to my fiction reading means he could be in line for the throne.

As I pondered this, I decided it would not be such a good thing after all because the minute you are crowned, someone is trying to take your head off with a giant axe. I think we'll remain common and keep our heads.

If you have used iTunes or the Apple store, you know that their security questions are almost impossible:

  • What was the first thing you learned to cook?
  • What is the last name of your favorite elementary school teacher?
  • Where was the first place you ever flew?

Who can remember those things? And if you make something up, which is what I am inclined to do, then the next time, you can't remember what that was.

I propose instead, security questions for old people:

  • What's the name of your current pet?
  • What year did you start receiving Medicare?
  • What kind of car do you drive?
These are all easy to check and don't change that often. I think I'll send Apple an email.

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