Wednesday, August 29, 2012

post-apocalypse: two days after the fair

I know it wasn't that bad. Anything for a story, though, and I'm a believer in exaggeration for effect.

I've done some informal polling and I can't find anybody who loves the State Fair and only a few who admit to attending every few years. Some are like me and vow they will never attend again. They all cite the same reasons: crowds, parking, noise, inflated prices, and suffocating heat. There you go. It makes me wonder what the demographic is for the millions of people who are there.

I've had a headache the last two days that makes me feel like I couldn't organize a sack lunch. I used this line on Facebook so you may have read it there. If I come up with a good line, I like to get maximum mileage out of it. No sense in frittering away my best comic moments. Some may not agree that my line is funny but hey, I have a headache; it's the best I can do.

I've been reading historical fiction lately. Like the State Fair, I'm not sure what the attraction is and sometimes it disappoints. I read a book this week called Pope Joan, about a Pope who was really a woman. It was a good story but it bordered on being a bodice ripper. The main male character had long flowing auburn hair, piercing blue eyes, and rippling muscles. In the dark ages? More likely that he had serious BO and bad teeth. It got pretty lame in the end but it made me glad that I wasn't born in 854. Not a good time to be a human being.

Permit me a brief rant about the weather. After several weeks of autumn-like nights and barely warm days, we have reverted to the depths of hell. Humid, windy, and very dry. There is a fire alert. I've read about the Hinkley fire and this makes me very nervous. Regis sent me a photo of the fire alert area which was not comforting. A person like me, with many unreasonable fears, should not be aware of things like that.

I wonder if we should flee. I think if I lived in a hurricane area, I would be out of there the minute they mentioned high winds and the possibility of a wall of water coming down the street. I don't want to live in a place where you have to nail plywood over your windows to keep the sea out.

Regis is having his left knee replaced in October. I don't think I have mentioned that. He has no cartilage in that one either. The doc said that bodies sometimes focus on one area at a time so he wasn't surprised that the left one didn't hurt so much before. We think they'll do the surgery in St. Peter which will be more convenient but I'm worried about the availability of hospital cafeteria food.

Having spent my whole life avoiding crossword puzzles, I have decided that I like them. I bet I've done ten in the last two weeks. Regis and I share the Sunday puzzle and I've been printing them from the internet to do between Sundays. I've also taken up knitting. Crap, it sounds like old people stuff.

Let's see, I've covered my recent headache, my unreasonable fear of fires and hurricanes, and my new hobbies. I bet this was fun to read.


Jill said...

Hi Teresa,
I'm so glad you cleared up that you use exaggeration for effect! ha ha!

My guess about the reason so many people tolerate the heat, crowds, etc. at the State Fair is that they are on serious medication that makes them immune to the general discomforts of life. Or maybe the lure of fried food on a stick is more powerful than you or I can imagine.

Teresa Saum said...

I actually viewed with my own eyes, a Snicker bar on a stick. I'm sure that the vision alone could induce vomiting. Let's not ever make a lunch date at the State Fair!