Thursday, June 16, 2011

sleeping...or not

I stayed in bed until 3:30 but I was awake for a while. I sleep well but not for very long. I would give anything some days to sleep late. I remember how good it felt.

I love the early mornings, though. To be awake before light is a special pleasure. Especially now when it gets light as I sit here with my coffee before going to exercise. So nice to watch the eastern sky turn pink.

My eyes seem back to normal and my jaw feels better. I survived the trauma of the day but it was good to finally sit down with a glass of wine at the end of it and visit with Regis. He had a very funny youtube video to show me. It's an oral reading (by Samuel L. Jackson) of a picture book made for adults about trying to get a little kid to sleep. I laughed out loud because if you have ever done it, you remember clearly how frustrating it is. The language is not kid-friendly and even if you are a grown-up but are sensitive to cussing, it's not for you. I, of course, am not sensitive to cussing, mostly being a fan. I don't cuss all the time and I know about time and place, but a well-placed f-bomb can be satisfying and effective.

So far this week, I have done two things I meant to do: I exercised on Monday and Tuesday and we ate home every night. Gold stars on the chart.

I read an article about zen living...no plans, no goals, no lists of things to do. I was a little puzzled by that. It said to live like a fish in the ocean. I don't think life is like that. If it were, people wouldn't even go to work, they would just sit on the couch until the food in the refrigerator rotted and the house filled up with trash. I can probably be more like that but really, unless you are in one of those convents, I don't think this is realistic.

I have pretty much given up lists of things to do. I used to prepare one every summer and all it accomplished was to make me feel bad in the end for all the things undone. Who needs that shit? We do just fine at relaxing so I don't think we need to abandon what little sense of direction and motivation we have.


We are grasshoppers compared to our neighbor's more ant-like lifestyle. I could go on a big rant here about how irritating it is to try and relax on the patio, or take a nap, when the neighbors are doing their productivity thing and revving up big lawn mowers or dumping huge amounts of what sounds like glass into the dumpster right outside my bedroom window but I have beaten that subject to death so I won't.

Getting ready to exercise this morning. Make it a good day.

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