Oh, God, Jane. I'm not sure there is a good perspective. It's a terrible, awful, horrific tragedy but Devin and Hiroe and Grace are all safe for today. For that you can be thankful. You have to have hope that they will continue to be safe or you will fall apart, my friend. You have to be strong so when they call, your voice is strong and they know that you have hope. You are going to be an important lifeline for them.
One thing I always do in times like this, is look for words that help me. Go back to your poetry and your books. Find things that touched you and read them again. Write them down and share them with Devin and Hiroe and with the rest of us who are worrying with you. Your writing yesterday was beautiful and poignant. Keep doing that...putting your heart on the paper. It will keep you sane.