Saturday, December 12, 2009

finding things and losing them again

I hope I never find out how much time I have spent in my life looking for things. Usually more than once.

When I switched from my old e-mac to a PC a few years ago, I didn't really know what I was doing and therefore, lost a lot of things by trying to be efficient. I deleted them from where I didn't think they needed to be and they disappeared entirely. I should have kept the mac on the shelf for a few weeks but it went on its way to Wisconsin and all my thoughts were gone with it.

The other day I found one folder of things. When I opened them, they looked like some ancient language. Phoenician, maybe. I was able to find a program that made sense of them and I published Edith below. It didn't make me feel better to find those few pieces, though...only made me feel worse about the ones still gone.

This morning, I had the thought that I had found a white folder with writing in it. A shiny white folder with University of Iowa on it. Sometime this week. On a shelf. But now when I look in all the places that fit that description, it's not there. Now I'm not sure I really did find it or if I dreamed I found it.

This probably seems very strange if you are reading this and you are an organized kind of person. A person like me has no good system for getting rid of things. What if I want it next week? Shouldn't there be a purgatory for stuff before it gets thrown away? A place where I can fetch it back if I decide I really need it after all? So, I end up with boxes and shelves and tubs of things that are not necessary in my life anymore today but may be next week. They're just waiting for me to decide.

Throwing things away and regretting it later...those are not my only organizational issues. I can't sort things very well so I have books and magazines and folders of tax records all mixed up. I believe this is a math deficiency like my inability to pick out patterns in jazz or classical music.

I realized yesterday that I have been, in the back of my mind, obsessive about the Jingle Bell Jam today. I have been worried about feeling good, eating right, wearing the right clothes to stay warm, and going fast. I don't think to worry to this extent is the point. So, this morning I'm going to have a massage then I'm going to relax until we have to leave. Trying to make this fun, you know.

Things I find around my house when I'm looking for other things:
  • folders full of recipes
  • a box with three Christmas cards and two old stamps
  • a pile of receipts and brochures from a trip to PA in October
  • three Cooking Light magazines
  • Tiffany's baby book
  • a box of pictures not in albums
  • sticky notes with phone numbers but no names
  • a 2009 calendar, never used
  • a manual for a cell phone, long gone
  • a George Bush cartoon on NCLB
  • prescription receipts
I think I know where that white folder is...at school. Oh good grief.

Happy Saturday.

No comments: