Friday, November 07, 2008

oh f word

I was sitting in the living room listening to Cool Water by Sons of the Pioneers and having a glass of wine as I am wont to do on Friday afternoon when the phone rang. It was the m clinic changing my appointment from December 4 to December 18 because the surgeon had to "re-schedule".

In case you're not good at math, that's 14 days; two weeks. He better be doing a damn heart transplant.

I was fussy about the surgeon so maybe I deserve it. Or maybe it's my punishment for eating the chocolate chip cookie I had today. Those are paranoid thinking errors. I know.

As an aside, the Sons of the Pioneers were the foremost vocal and instrumental group in western music, and the definitive group specializing in cowboy songs, setting the standard for every group that has come since. In case you were wondering. I love cowboy music.

Of course, I started crying at this turn of events and when the poor scheduling woman asked if this was ok and could she send out the revised schedule, I said through a huge gasping weep that it was ok and I almost felt sorry for her. What the f. She must have drawn the short straw as it was 5 o'clock on Friday afternoon and who would want to end their week with me weeping? Did she go right to the martini bar and belt a few appletinis?

This is why I don't work in the medical field. It would take a lot of martinis.

This probably doesn't seem like it should be such a big deal considering the forty plus years of weight hell and considering what we saw on the news about GM and jobs and the other economic news it probably isn't. But it is to me. I feel like most days I am consumed by this, I spend 18 hours a day focused on it, I am hanging on by my fingernails, I am teetering on the edge of the cliff and to me, today, insanely and selfishly, it is a big deal. I can see why they say it might take 6-9 months because it really takes 35 years. I'll be lucky to be done by the time I'm 80. F word.

A nice bottle of La Joya shiraz and a fireplace really helped. Thanks, Betty. A hot tub would help but we don't have one and neither does anybody we know well enough to show up naked at their house. Come on, Tom. Is that too much to ask of friends?

Betty and Tom are in Luckenbach, Texas. They had a beer on an outdoor patio today. That sounds good...even though we don't sit on outdoor patios in Minnesota even in the summer. The mosquitoes are an issue here but maybe not in Texas. Hey, Willie Nelson is from there so how bad can the mosquitoes be?

There are some good sp jokes on the liberal talk shows tonight. She's trying to paint this as a gender equity issue. My head, my head. That's gross.

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