Tuesday, August 12, 2008

jungle weather

I thought about pulling weeds today because they had seriously taken over everything. They were taller than most of the plants and were encroaching on the sidewalk. It was so humid that I tried to weasel out of it but Regis convinced me that it would be profitable to get it done. So out I went about 11, toting my garden hopper and my gloves. At 3:30 I came in feeling like I had been trudging through the jungle carrying a backpack full of bowling balls. I was filthy and tired and more than a little cranky. But I had four bags full of debris and I had mowed most of the front yard to boot. A good job done.

We have this tiny battery operated lawn mower. It has a deck about 12 inches wide (I might be exaggerating) and you can easily carry on a conversation while it runs. I love it because it starts with the push of a button. Of course, your lawn looks like crap because you can't have all this and get a nice sharp cut, too. Turns out, we don't care. We don't edge, we don't fertilize, we don't kill weeds, and we don't dig dandelions. We sort of have a Darwin lawn. If it survives, good. Right now it's a fierce competition between the grass and the creeping charlie. And it's creeping charlie by a head...

There were some storms that moved through, or past, about an hour ago. Apparently they went south so be on the alert, Miles.

My neighbor has started the annual leaf chase. Any leaves that fall off trees from now until the dead of winter get chased into the street with his gas-powered BARRRRRUUUMMMM blower. There are so few now that you could pick them up and put them in a damn sandwich bag. If you cared, that is.

The RS article about Downey was interesting. That's all I have to say about that, I guess. I like to read the Top 10 lists, too. I always know all the songs from 1968 but rarely any from 1988 or 2008. Does that mean I've turned into an old dufus?

I made meatless three-bean chili for dinner. Peter said he had to go to work at 7 until he looked in the pot and saw the chili. Then he had to go to work at 6. Can't say that I blame him. I made cornbread, too, and something in the oven smoked like crazy and smelled like hell. We had to open all the windows and Regis said he could smell it on the boulevard. Nasty. Somebody must have been cooking possum in my oven.

It occurred to me today that one advantage thin people have over fat people is their lingerie doesn't look like the sling from a catapult. I'll spare you any more detail such as how this happened to cross my mind. Lots of weird things cross my mind and it's a good thing that most of the time I keep them to myself.

I'm having an endoscope on Friday. I hate those more than anything. The anesthetist called me tonight and I was glad to talk to him. I spoke with a nurse the other day and she made the mistake of thinking I was having a colonoscopy. Well, let's make sure you get the right end I said. I reminded this guy, too. The first time I had one, the doctor convinced me I could do it without anesthesia so they had me go in the bathroom and gargle with this stuff that made me feel like I was going to choke to death on their shiny tile floor. I knew right away this was a mistake but by then they were huffy and tired of me and just wanted to get it over with. I remember the tube as about the size of a garden hose and wrapped with electrician's tape and I gagged mightily through the whole procedure. So I told Rick tonight to write on my card that I'm a nervous patient, whatever they have to relax me would be a very good idea, and in exchange I'll try not to cry and carry on. I bet he's going to try and change shifts with someone.

I'm tired and my right heel hurts like hell. If I had any gumption I would go to bed.


Anonymous said...

You sound kind of nasty tonight. Why don't you have your whole yard paved? You could have that fancy paving like I have for my patio.
All you do is pour cement; have Regis put on some big things on his feet and muck around in the cement. Pretty soon you have a pattern. It would take care of the weeds and the mowing in one swoop.

Anonymous said...

Your mom is a genius.

As for the procedure you're going to have...when I had an endoscopy a couple of years ago, the GI guy was a stutterer. When he came in to see me afterward, I could barely make out what he was saying anyway because I was half in the bag with anesthesia effects, and the stuttering completely distracted me. Since then, whenever I burp I do it in bursts like a machine gun. I think I imprinted the stutter.