Monday, May 12, 2008

Felonious assault

I have been looking over Regis' new benefit information. Among the many things that amuse me are these:

The felonious assault benefit. It a felonious assault results in a guy's death or dimemberment, there is an additional benefit if the assault is not committed by his spouse, a member of his household, or a fellow employee. I suppose those are statistically the most likely to commit a felonious assault upon a guy.

The coma benefit. If a guy is in a coma within 30 days of an incident and in said coma for at least 3o additional days, there is an additional benefit.

The repatriation benefit. If a guy dies outside his home state or country, this benefit pays to get your remains home.

So, you can imagine that I wonder if you are the victim of a felonious assault perpetrated by a stranger outside of Minnesota and are in a coma for 45 days then die, does it pay triple? I suppose some would think this is morbid wondering. I think it's just finding humor in insurance language.

I'd say the allergy meter is way up today. I'm having a most unpleasant attack (not the felonious type) of sneezing and coughing. Most unpleasant.

I read something today like this: I thought I was getting more patient as I got older but it turns out I just don't give a shit. I thought that was hilarious.

Regis is over there writing on his blog. I think it's something political because he looks agitated. I try to ignore that stuff because it's like horse racing. The minute you start to care, your horse falls down. Or baseball. The minute you start to care about the World Series, there's a line drive to left field and a triple play. And I have no idea what that means.

Well, off to bed.

1 comment:

Jill said...

Could insurance be any more complicated? All of what you described is null and void if you've ever coughed without covering your mouth.