I woke up with a serious case of the blues today. I was weeping into the dishwater after breakfast and I don't have an explanation, at least not a good one. I could say it's hormones, the weather (which is turbulent), or some other reason but I don't think it's any of those. I think it's a force from outer space. It's weird when that happens.
There are storms moving into southern and central Minnesota. That always makes me nervous and I have to be gone for a couple hours this afternoon which makes it worse. I feel a little calmer in my own house. But I don't think it's that making me feel like this.
Then of course, add the guilt for not really having a good reason to feel like this, other people have terrible things to deal with and I'm just in a mood, and you get a great goulash of nasty mood.
I have nerve-wracking things coming up: a 250 mile trip, a portfolio presentation, things like that. But I don't think it's that either. Those kind of things make me lie awake at night and get stiff muscles in my neck but they don't make me cry in the tub. This is more than ennui, believe me.
I need a dark room in the basement with a hot tub, a bottle of wine, lots of candles, and some sad country music...maybe Dwight Yoakum. Something I can sing to. It's that kind of funk I'm in.