rhubarb, tornado, and radiation

I made a mental list of things to do yesterday. I decided if I only had two things on it, the chances were better at getting them done. One of the things was to move the rhubarb from its shady spot on the north side of the house to the south side. I took my rhubarb for a walk in the Radio Flyer to the sunny side of the yard. Hahaha!

Since I was out there, gloved and holding a shovel, I transplanted some hosta, moved some chives closer to the bunny, and had Young Regis dig out a couple of giant Autumn Joy sedum. I put them in the wagon and walked it down to my friend, Cheryl's, house. She recognized the wagon and the bag on a FB post and knew it was me and not the sedum fairies.

After all of that, I had to take a nap.

Here we are at Suzette's. Wonder of the internet, Jack sent these pictures via email after they disappeared from our phones. This is my first time out in public with very little hair.

Kathy and I have been friends since we were in junior high. They didn't call it middle school in those days. Middle school sounds so gentle, like an extension of elementary school. This was junior high as in get ready for an ass kickin' in high school, kid. We spent many nights together during those years. We'd go to a football game and her dad would drive 25 miles into town to fetch us. Or we'd go roller skating and walk to my house where we talked and laughed into the night.

I signed up on Twitter to follow some people who identified as breast cancer survivors. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me so I had to unfollow them for a few days. I support the sisterhood and I admire the work they are doing but I can't do a daily diet of it, at least not right now. I did buy the Mayo Clinic Breast Cancer book last week because I think I am ready to know more about this than when my next appointment is. Seriously, that is all I could handle for a while. head,

I tried to find a photo online that was similar to the radiation machine I use. No dice. Maybe I can ask them if I can take a picture of it with my phone. It's a huge monster. It has three giant rotating heads. The rays come out of one head, they take x-rays with another, and I'm not sure what the third one is for.

I watched some the coverage of the Moore, OK tornado last night and it broke my heart. It's like a bomb went off there. The children, about the ages of our grandchildren, were the saddest and most frightening. I know this tornado was more catastrophic than the one that struck St. Peter in 1998, but so much of the story is reminiscent...huge lights, the sound of generators and helicopters, so many homes flattened. It's very hard to look at the pictures.

Jill is taking me to get irradiated today. #12 of 28...almost half-way! We'll probably have coffee or breakfast when I'm done...she said my wish is her command (Right, Jill?) so I think I'll ask her to drive me to San Diego. Tell Larry we'll be gone a while!

no wine from Bruce

A quote from his email:

I concur; ND wines suck!  Rhubarb, chokecherry, and jalapeno?  Gack!

this will be short

I had an agenda for today and I accomplished all the action items. (Yuck, yuck...) I took my rhubarb for a walk to the sunny side of the yard as it did not like living in the shadow of the garbage dumpster. I transplanted hosta and I dragged a couple Autumn Joy sedum down to my friend, Cheryl's house in the red wagon.

I've discovered the internet's cure for short term memory problems. Maybe cure is not the right word. I lost a bag full of oranges. I bought them a week ago for the orioles. I've changed the oranges two to three times and now they are gone. Regis calls it CUI...changing under the influence. I'm not denying. That could be true.

The orioles love the cara cara oranges that are $2.99 a pound. Holy crap.

We have had wonderful birds this spring. Over the past weekend, we saw this bird... a ruby crowned kinglet. They only migrate through this part of the state on their way to northern Minnesota. They probably heard there is still ice on the lakes up there and decided to stick around here where at least we have put away our winter boots and mittens.

Notice to offspring and people who visit our home for parties and such:

We are planning a party this weekend to celebrate Memorial Day and Gus's second birthday. We're making smoked pork butt tacos, pico de gallo, and whatever else strikes my fancy or yours. If you're reading this, consider yourself invited. Just let me know so we can buy an extra butt. Hahaha!

We aren't sure about the day yet....Saturday or Monday, weather dependent. Stay in touch and we'll decide as the forecast becomes available. If you're inclined to bring something, we'd love it. Just none of that jar salsa from New York City...get a rope.

waking to thunder

We've had a lot of rain in the past few days and today, we're in a flash flood watch. Our trees and grass and flowers are thankful. It was so dry last summer and we can't even remember the last time we had a thunderstorm.

We woke early to thunder this morning so I may feel the need to return to bed for a while. It's dark and rumbley...perfect weather for sleeping late.

We met good friends, Jack and Kathy, for dinner at Suzette's last night. It's a funky old Bridgeman's building but the food and the service are fabulous. I had halibut with a creamy dill sauce and garlic mashed potatoes. Regis and I shared a piece of tiramisu for dessert that was so good I'm pretty sure we both purred. There were other pictures but they have disappeared into cyber space for now. We're trying to resurrect them.

Check out the link to Suzette's and read the chef's story. It's amazing. I forgot to mention the squash soup that I think was flavored with saffron. Oh, my. So good.

That's it for this morning. Just a few lazy reminiscences about our evening. I'm going back to bed to read and listen to the rain for a while.

slugging rats in the gutter

My friend, Karen, calls what I went through one evening and morning this week slugging rats in the gutter. I love that. It's pretty descriptive of the crap that hits the fan but it also hints that it doesn't last forever and...mine didn't. If you are slugging rats in the gutter today, I hope they're few and slow.

We're doing our usual coffee drinking this morning, watching the birds and the sky. An ominous thunderstorm appeared on the horizon but seems to have wandered onto some other unsuspecting county.

We're thankful for all the rain we got yesterday. Maybe now I can stop worrying about wildfires. I haven't seen such a downpour in several years. We had more rain during the night, with thunder and lightening. I was going to work in the garden today but it's too muddy. Oh, darn.

The grass is making a glorious comeback after the past year's drought. I know this because there is a gas powered machine going every waking moment in our neighborhood. Not at our house as we like our grass long. We think of it as making oxygen.

Elliot came for a visit last night. We stopped at McDonald's, went to Tom and Betty's house, came back here to take a walk around the block, and sat on the patio. When we finally sat down on the swing, he said, "Nana, you forgot three things: a pillow, a blanket, and a snack." This picture is from St. Patrick's Day...you can tell by the lights on the tree. It's one of my favorite pictures of him because he's laughing himself silly. Nothing like a little kid laughing to lighten your heart.

I have a list of things I should do today but we'll see how that progresses. It's so tempting to sit and watch the orioles in the redbud tree.

There's my whoop ass for the day!

Deb and Gus

my brief trip through the doldrums of life

I knew I would be fine later and I am.

I saw my oncologist this morning and he was, as usual, uplifting. He talked about things I could do to help prevent recurrence...limit wine, exercise my body and my brain, eat healthy. All good things to do. I'll see him again in a month to talk about removing my port and about the hormone I'll take for five years.

I hope I didn't alarm anyone (Sorry, Mom.) with my dismal attitude this morning. All is well. Here's my list of reasons to be happy:

1. I'm getting some of the best medical care in the world.
2. I have a sweet husband who takes me to so many appointments.
3. I have a cozy bedroom where I can curl up with a book and take a nap.
4. My garden is springing forth!
5. Elliot is coming to see us this evening and we're going to pay a visit to Tom and Betty.
6. My prognosis is very good.
7. I have good friends and family sending me light and love.
8. We have beautiful birds in our yard.
9. My cousin, Deb, made a visit this week. She always makes me laugh.
10. We have two beautiful blooming trees in the front yard.
11. Our refrigerator is broken but Reggie came to help fix it. Thanks, kid!
12. Catie is graduating from the U of M nursing program this afternoon.

Not a bad list for an old broad who was poised on the bridge this morning. Hahahaha! Not quite. I'm just a bit of a drama queen...but I do appreciate the support in my time of need. Thanks to everyone who wrote.

curling up and feeling sad

Cocooning

Cécile Veilhan

Yesterday I had my first follow-up meeting with my research nurse. I've gotten very attached to her. I know I'll see her many times in the future but for some reason this last visit made me sad and took me back to an emotional place I thought I had left long ago.

Even though the weather was beautiful, the crab apple and the redbud are blooming, and even though I had a lovely visit with my cousin the last two days, I felt like shit last night. I felt like I did in January. I was so tired I took several naps and went to bed at 7 o'clock. I felt sad and lonely and discouraged and...flat.

I'm not going to try to analyze this too much. It just is what it is and I know it will pass.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself either. I know everybody has crap to deal with. Every day, people have much worse crap than this to deal with. Something could come along and clothesline a guy at any time. Fact of life. I am not alone in this.

dear bruce in north dakota

Dear Bruce,

After I made disparaging remarks about the North Dakotans ability to make good pasta, you sent me this wonderful assortment of pasta and dumplings. I will be happy to prepare and sample each one and I can tell by the packaging and the marketing that this is a high quality product. (Dreamfields pasta is made from the finest durum wheat semolina to give you delicious old-world taste and al dente texture for your special pasta dishes. With Dreamfields you get the healthy advantage, making Dreamfields the perfect pasta for health conscious pasta lovers.)

I certainly appreciate your sensitivity to my remarks and your willingness to represent your state by changing my mind about Dreamfields pasta. I don't claim to hold much sway with the average pasta consumer but I do have a fairly far-reaching audience of readers and I'm sure they will take my endorsements to heart.

One more thing, Bruce. I'm pretty sure last time I was in your fair state, I had a glass of wine that I considered to be below par. I certainly would not want my readers to have the impression that's true of all North Dakota wines so if you'd like to try to change my mind on that one, samples would be eagerly accepted. 

I think I could spin this into a pretty good gig. Hahahaha!!!

Thanks for the pasta, Bruce. We'll enjoy it!

Gus looking dapper in the morning.

Gus takes a nap on my chair.

When a cardinal has a bad hair day.

Darby at her art show.

Evynne at her art show.

My cousin. Deb, is coming for a visit today. We always have fun!

two old friends go to radiation

Betty took me to radiation yesterday. She came in and waited with a cup of coffee. I forgot to return my beeper, forgot to take the key out of the dressing room door, and forgot to grab a towel. I think they should provide an attendant as there a lot of addled folks wandering unsupervised around that place.

The other day, an old pantsless gentleman forgot to close his blue robe. Ah, well. We're all sort of anonymous in there anyway. If he's having radiation on a part beneath his underwear, he probably doesn't give a damn who he flashes.

Betty and I went to Encore and scored some great bargains, then went to Pappageorge to celebrate.   Betty's had cancer, too, and we talked about what scares us and what doesn't. Mostly, we have decided to forge ahead, come what may. Nobody gets out alive and nobody knows how they're going until they're gone. So why be afraid? Why worry?

I came home to take a long nap and when I woke up, Regis and I relaxed on the patio for the evening. It was a hundred degrees yesterday afternoon and only fifty when we got up this morning.

Ella suggested I get something to shade the sunny end of the patio swing. I found this great scarf at Encore and thought it would be perfect. Good idea, Ella!

Moving on into the day. Gus will come with us to Mankato today. He loves to go through the pharmacy drive-up window because they always give him a treat. My sweet husband, my furry dog, and a beautiful spring day. I have much for which to be grateful this day.

minnesota neighbors and joy

During the long winter, we don't see our neighbors much. We go in and out of our driveways or garages and wave, and sometimes visit if we happen to be shoveling snow at the same time, but it's not like spring and summer. When the weather's nice, we have frequent walkers, we have patio visitors, we visit over fences or across the street. So much nicer.

Last night we had a small gathering at one neighbor's house. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in late fall, Norm had a heart attack in February, and Jean and Bill are planning a trip to Alaska. Lots to catch up on.

Today is dawning beautifully but we're expecting very high temps (90's) and high winds which means fire alert. Oh, brother. What does fire alert mean? Here's what weatherunderground says: A red flag warning means that critical fire weather either occurring now... or will shortly. A combination of strong winds... low relative humidity... and warm temperatures can contribute to extreme fire behavior. Extreme fire behavior? Sounds like hell.

So, as I drive to Mankato this morning, I will scan the horizon for wildfires. I won't throw any combustibles out the car windows. I won't burn any leaves when I come home. I think that's about all I can do in terms of preparedness. 

I checked out wildfire images on google. Too scary to use.

I've been lazy in the glamour department lately. Regis sent me a news report about all the vile infections you can get in your eyes from false eyelashes so I cast those by the wayside for now. Make-up is such a chore when you start from scratch. So, here I am. Early morning. Not much hair. Pajamas and red slippers. Big old cardigan sweater. And notice Kermit the Frog on the shelf behind me.

Drinking coffee and playing Solitaire...what I do best.

I saw the radiation oncologist yesterday. He asked about my fatigue which I rated a 4 on a scale of 1-10. He asked about my quality of life and I didn't hesitate to say 10. Some days, like this one, my heart is near to bursting with happiness. I told him I attributed it to enjoying ordinary things like the patio, the birds, our dog, our friends and family, warm and sunny days. It's a good way to live.